So its another wonderful night for me. Had company for dinner. ((wayyy to much garlic in the mashed tators, Soo not using that packet of stuff again.)) Changed my hair. ((Pictures tomorrow.)) && Most exciting news of my day (((Besides being asked to be a guest blogger on AS WE WRITE IT.)))) I got a new straighter, && a new crock pot, ( a friend of mine melted mine. dont ask, && the straighter got burnt out by the same friends daughter.)) && O yea I totally colored my hair. Pictures tomorrow. {{after of course I play with the new straighter.))
Thomas is out on the road...again.... Surprise!!! Sighs. Sometimes it really sucks that hes gone all the time. Kinda gets lonely. && Next year when John starts school I honestly don't know what I am going to do with my self....
But right now Im off to go read bedtime stories &&& tuck my little man in. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
AS WE WRITE IT.
Hey, I am going to be a guess photogragher/ blogger on My friends Blog. You really should check it out. I have talked about Katherine Kuzma-Beck before. She is an amazingly talented write/ artist, who with another amazingly talented poet started a blog a few months back. So Check it out. http://aswewriteit.blogspot.com/ && let us know what you think.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
How is it fair that a 34 year old father, son, boyfriend, best friend, brother, uncle, cousin, gets taken from this world soo young, soo full of life && a mother who kills her own child can live in jail until shes 90 years old????
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Another Life Cut too Short.
Yesturday afternoon, a friend of Thomas' passed away at the young age of 34, leaving behind two beautiful little boys. Its heartbreaking, Its sad, && its scary.
It gets a person to thinking. I think that Thomas & I are going to go set up our wills, or final wishes, & such, as creepy as this sounds plan out everything. I already know what I want. Its simple. If am I to be buried I want my hair straighten, my toes painted the brightiest pink that they can find. a pair of mens pj bottoms, && god forbid if I have to have shoes I want flipflops....... I shouldn't be thinking of this, but with all the death surround us lately, Im learning its better to plan ahead. John & Thomas are to have my belongings. My wedding rings are to be put in a locked box at the bank, with any other jewelry that meant anything to me, for John when hes older, My cameras are to go to him too. && if he doesn't want them, then he can sell them & have the money put into his account.
Thomas has told me what he wants, now we just have to have it all put into writing, && god forbid something happens to both of us, we want it planned out for John. So he has someone to care for him. That will raise him the way we want him raised... && whom we don't wnat to get him, doesn't get him. I think within the next few weeks we'll get that all set.
But Live each life to the fullest, remember to hug your kids, for no real reason. Don't go to bed without saying I love you... Kisses & Hugs heal alot.... Love like your dying, Forgive when you can. && make sure you have everything set, that way your family doesn't have to go through a ton of crap when already going through enough.
R.I.P Josh Stedman, You'll be missed, alot. Having fun riding that big truck in the sky. && Tell Daddy I say Hi.
It gets a person to thinking. I think that Thomas & I are going to go set up our wills, or final wishes, & such, as creepy as this sounds plan out everything. I already know what I want. Its simple. If am I to be buried I want my hair straighten, my toes painted the brightiest pink that they can find. a pair of mens pj bottoms, && god forbid if I have to have shoes I want flipflops....... I shouldn't be thinking of this, but with all the death surround us lately, Im learning its better to plan ahead. John & Thomas are to have my belongings. My wedding rings are to be put in a locked box at the bank, with any other jewelry that meant anything to me, for John when hes older, My cameras are to go to him too. && if he doesn't want them, then he can sell them & have the money put into his account.
Thomas has told me what he wants, now we just have to have it all put into writing, && god forbid something happens to both of us, we want it planned out for John. So he has someone to care for him. That will raise him the way we want him raised... && whom we don't wnat to get him, doesn't get him. I think within the next few weeks we'll get that all set.
But Live each life to the fullest, remember to hug your kids, for no real reason. Don't go to bed without saying I love you... Kisses & Hugs heal alot.... Love like your dying, Forgive when you can. && make sure you have everything set, that way your family doesn't have to go through a ton of crap when already going through enough.
R.I.P Josh Stedman, You'll be missed, alot. Having fun riding that big truck in the sky. && Tell Daddy I say Hi.
Why is it?
Why is it, that I cant sleep through the noise that Thomas' dogs make, but He can???? Eh, soo unfair. Its five something in the moring. Long night last night. I really don't know what time I crashed, but I curled up in bed && was out. Now Ive got mess in the kitchen to clean at some point & time today.
Life is life.
Nothing really new going on with life. Getting ready for summer/ spring. John loves the idea of shorts & Hates that hes only been able to wear them once or twice..
Life is life.
Nothing really new going on with life. Getting ready for summer/ spring. John loves the idea of shorts & Hates that hes only been able to wear them once or twice..
Monday, March 22, 2010
Yep....
.....Another Headache.....
Ain't life wonderful.
John's home
&& already in trouble!!
&& Thomas comes home tomorrow too.
YAY
Maybe then I'll feel better
Ain't life wonderful.
John's home
&& already in trouble!!
&& Thomas comes home tomorrow too.
YAY
Maybe then I'll feel better
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Motherhood
Take this as your fair warning. This is going to be a long blog, this is going to be a ranting blog, && a happy blog... Take your leave, but please please please don't read it all the way && start leaving nasty comments if you don't like what I have to say. For this is blog is my thoughts, please do feel free to leave comments, just not overly nasty, I don't care if you disagree, && want to say something. Please do. Just dont be childish & nasty about it. =)
To me there is no greater feeling in the world then to have my little boy run up & give me a hug, && say Mommy I love you for no reason. ((Or for what I believe is no reason.)) Its an amazing feeling... I will admit I fall for it, && those big brown eyes everytime. Its not always wonderful, because normally 15 minutes before hes either was screaming or whinning or something worse to drive me insane.
But I am often asked if I regret having John at the age of 19. No. I don't. Maybe it wasn't the best thing in the world, but Honestly I wouldn't change it. I have no regrets, He made my life whole. I can't say that Its been easy, but for me, it was easier then some. I didn't have the parties to give up, or the going out all the time. It was stressful ((Was?!?! Heck it still is!!!!)) The lack of sleep. The always hearing crying, the forgetting things, like bottles when heading out, always making sure you have enough of this, or enough of that... But for the smiles, the first steps, the first time you hear "Mama" the smiles, the laughs, ect, its all worth it.
You never do know if you are doing this right, or are you doing this wrong? Is he going to grow up to be a wonderful person, or end up in jail, && if he does is it your fault? Are you teaching them right from wrong? You should do it differently? Or stay the way you are? How do you know these things? How can you tell? I almost wish someone gave me a manual on how to raise John. I really do. Maybe it would have been a lot easier.
I myself, try to raise him differently from how I was raised. I make him mind his manners, I make him be polite & respectful. He has to pick up his toys, he has to eat his food, brush his teeth, make his bed. But am I being too hard? I don't know. I just know that I want my son to be better then me, better then soo many other children his age, or older. Am I spoiling him too much? Do I let him make to many of his own choices? Should I stop? Should I keep letting him pick what he wants to wear, where wants to go, who he wants in room or not. Should I stop buying him the toys he wants, becuaes hes been good, Should I save more for him, or less for him. Should I Let him have a ten dollar bill ever two weeks for doing his chores, or should I cut it back?
The questions are never ending. You always wonder. Its enough to drive you insane alone, without the fussing & whining. Throw those into it, && your crying ever night (( not really, but you get the point.)) How do you know if you are a bad parent, or a parnet that is doing it wrong. Sighs.
There are some "Parents" {& I use the term loosly here} that shouldn't have ever had their children. They abuse them physically, mentally, sexually. They don't care if they are into drugs at an early age, 12 years old & having sex.... The Parents are never home, they don't care if they have a good meal, clothes that fit right, or dont show their butts... There are parents that just don't care. && blows my mind. I couldn't be like that. I couldn't sit back & just let John run wild. Maybe I am overbearing on him. But I want to know where is at, what he is doing, make sure hes safe.
Too many parents just don't care... Or don't really care enough. The parents that use their kids against the other parent in a divorce. Or blame the child for the divorce, HOW CAN THEY DO THAT? How? How can you belittle your own flesh & blood that way && then claim to love them.....
Sorry, I just had a freak attack today, someone loser in a white truck thought it would be cute to stop in front of my house & honk the horn & wave at John through the fence, I went flying out the door, && they drove off.
&& News papers are always going on about moms whove killed there child, or dads who have raped their toddlers....
It just makes me soo fucking sick...
&&& Maybe thats what makes me a better parent then some.
Maybe just maybe I am doing something right.
sorry if this post doesn't make sense,
its late, & Im sleepy, but damn some parents just really tick me off.
Lots of Love
Catie
My darling little man whos growing up way too fast for his mommys taste.
To me there is no greater feeling in the world then to have my little boy run up & give me a hug, && say Mommy I love you for no reason. ((Or for what I believe is no reason.)) Its an amazing feeling... I will admit I fall for it, && those big brown eyes everytime. Its not always wonderful, because normally 15 minutes before hes either was screaming or whinning or something worse to drive me insane.
But I am often asked if I regret having John at the age of 19. No. I don't. Maybe it wasn't the best thing in the world, but Honestly I wouldn't change it. I have no regrets, He made my life whole. I can't say that Its been easy, but for me, it was easier then some. I didn't have the parties to give up, or the going out all the time. It was stressful ((Was?!?! Heck it still is!!!!)) The lack of sleep. The always hearing crying, the forgetting things, like bottles when heading out, always making sure you have enough of this, or enough of that... But for the smiles, the first steps, the first time you hear "Mama" the smiles, the laughs, ect, its all worth it.
You never do know if you are doing this right, or are you doing this wrong? Is he going to grow up to be a wonderful person, or end up in jail, && if he does is it your fault? Are you teaching them right from wrong? You should do it differently? Or stay the way you are? How do you know these things? How can you tell? I almost wish someone gave me a manual on how to raise John. I really do. Maybe it would have been a lot easier.
I myself, try to raise him differently from how I was raised. I make him mind his manners, I make him be polite & respectful. He has to pick up his toys, he has to eat his food, brush his teeth, make his bed. But am I being too hard? I don't know. I just know that I want my son to be better then me, better then soo many other children his age, or older. Am I spoiling him too much? Do I let him make to many of his own choices? Should I stop? Should I keep letting him pick what he wants to wear, where wants to go, who he wants in room or not. Should I stop buying him the toys he wants, becuaes hes been good, Should I save more for him, or less for him. Should I Let him have a ten dollar bill ever two weeks for doing his chores, or should I cut it back?
The questions are never ending. You always wonder. Its enough to drive you insane alone, without the fussing & whining. Throw those into it, && your crying ever night (( not really, but you get the point.)) How do you know if you are a bad parent, or a parnet that is doing it wrong. Sighs.
There are some "Parents" {& I use the term loosly here} that shouldn't have ever had their children. They abuse them physically, mentally, sexually. They don't care if they are into drugs at an early age, 12 years old & having sex.... The Parents are never home, they don't care if they have a good meal, clothes that fit right, or dont show their butts... There are parents that just don't care. && blows my mind. I couldn't be like that. I couldn't sit back & just let John run wild. Maybe I am overbearing on him. But I want to know where is at, what he is doing, make sure hes safe.
Too many parents just don't care... Or don't really care enough. The parents that use their kids against the other parent in a divorce. Or blame the child for the divorce, HOW CAN THEY DO THAT? How? How can you belittle your own flesh & blood that way && then claim to love them.....
Sorry, I just had a freak attack today, someone loser in a white truck thought it would be cute to stop in front of my house & honk the horn & wave at John through the fence, I went flying out the door, && they drove off.
&& News papers are always going on about moms whove killed there child, or dads who have raped their toddlers....
It just makes me soo fucking sick...
&&& Maybe thats what makes me a better parent then some.
Maybe just maybe I am doing something right.
sorry if this post doesn't make sense,
its late, & Im sleepy, but damn some parents just really tick me off.
Lots of Love
Catie
My darling little man whos growing up way too fast for his mommys taste.Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Long Day, Longer Week
Well Thomas is going to be gone everyday (& night) until Sunday.... Gotta love being a Truckers Wife....... The time just seems to be dragging out. Can't it be sunday already. For some odd reason I have a really hard time sleeping when hes not here. So by the end of the week Im going to be extra bitchy, even though I know Im trying not be too. ((O yea did I tell ya Im giving up almost all my sodas. Only a glass with meals, then its water or milk. YAY ME...))
So far with the no soda thing Im doing okay. & im not even having a lot of coffee either... ((Sadly. I miss my old friend.))
Sooo in other news, life is life. Johns fighting me tooth and nail when it comes to bed time. But (sighs) what else is new?
I got two new cute dresses ((which is a big thing for me. because I don't own any dressy clothes, Im forever having to borrow from people. So when my friends sister gets married in may I won't have to borrow anything. Not even shows, becuase I bought a pair of highheels, ((low ones)) to match the dress. Mind you I already have four pairs that I haven't even worn. 2 from like 2 years ago, that every one borrows from me, && a pair from around christmas that are really cute && I can't wait to wear.
OO & not surprisingly I bought another pair of flipflops. ((playboy bunnie ones for ten dollars you can't beat that.))
So far with the no soda thing Im doing okay. & im not even having a lot of coffee either... ((Sadly. I miss my old friend.))
Sooo in other news, life is life. Johns fighting me tooth and nail when it comes to bed time. But (sighs) what else is new?
I got two new cute dresses ((which is a big thing for me. because I don't own any dressy clothes, Im forever having to borrow from people. So when my friends sister gets married in may I won't have to borrow anything. Not even shows, becuase I bought a pair of highheels, ((low ones)) to match the dress. Mind you I already have four pairs that I haven't even worn. 2 from like 2 years ago, that every one borrows from me, && a pair from around christmas that are really cute && I can't wait to wear.
OO & not surprisingly I bought another pair of flipflops. ((playboy bunnie ones for ten dollars you can't beat that.))
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I Keep Forgetting.....
That I promised my self at least once a day to write... Opps.
Updates,
Nothing. at all. Same old drama. Just different days. Sighs. Im thinking about what color I want to dye my hair. I know I want highlights. but sighs. I just don't know
Thomas will be gone alot this week.
&& You slowly learn who your friends are, && who they are not.
when they get jealous of you having other friends, it might be time to say goodbye
Updates,
Nothing. at all. Same old drama. Just different days. Sighs. Im thinking about what color I want to dye my hair. I know I want highlights. but sighs. I just don't know
Thomas will be gone alot this week.
&& You slowly learn who your friends are, && who they are not.
when they get jealous of you having other friends, it might be time to say goodbye
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
I hope your name isn't Lindsay
If you've lived under a rock then maybe you haven't seen the new Etrade commerical using the babies. If you haven't look it up.
Anyway follow this link && read the story
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/lindsay-lohan-suing-e-trade-for-milkaholic-parody/37130?nc
Tell me that is as sad as I think it is. To sue them because they used the name Lindsey. Thats messed up. Someone needs tell Ms. Lohan that she doesn't have a copy right on the name.... Or maybe this is her way of making up all the money she lost on failed rehaps, && ect.... eh who knows, either way Its stupid && sad.
Lots of Love.
Catie
Anyway follow this link && read the story
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/lindsay-lohan-suing-e-trade-for-milkaholic-parody/37130?nc
Tell me that is as sad as I think it is. To sue them because they used the name Lindsey. Thats messed up. Someone needs tell Ms. Lohan that she doesn't have a copy right on the name.... Or maybe this is her way of making up all the money she lost on failed rehaps, && ect.... eh who knows, either way Its stupid && sad.
Lots of Love.
Catie
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Octo-Mom
I really think not. Anyone would be insane to have that many kids, even more so to have them at one time. What in the hell is the world coming too?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Once Upon a time
There was this almost fearless girl, she always spoke her mind, held nothing back. Didn't care if she hurt feelings or not.
I miss that girl
Life is about the same. Im getting sick of bending over backwards to help out friends & then getting shit on in return. Im sick of holding back my thoughts, because I don't want to hurt my "friends" feelings. But If I feel the way I do & don't say anything than that makes me the worst kind of person. So from now on its gonna be what Im thinking, not just with certain people ((they know who they are, that I can ALWAYS be honest with.)) Im going to be honest with everyone & well if you don't like it. Bite me
I miss that girl
Life is about the same. Im getting sick of bending over backwards to help out friends & then getting shit on in return. Im sick of holding back my thoughts, because I don't want to hurt my "friends" feelings. But If I feel the way I do & don't say anything than that makes me the worst kind of person. So from now on its gonna be what Im thinking, not just with certain people ((they know who they are, that I can ALWAYS be honest with.)) Im going to be honest with everyone & well if you don't like it. Bite me
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Snowing STILL
Sighs.
Its 2:20 am, Im still wide awake, its still snowing. I can't sleep. For some reason anything that is tech. doesn't want to work for me tonight. Facebook, Myspace, my DVD player is refusing to play any movie that I want to watch, My ipod is being stupid..I've read & re-read all the books in the house a million & three times each..... && Im worried about Thomas. O the joys of being a truckers wive.
So around 3:00 A.M. Im going to call him & then maybe just maybe I can go to sleep...Hmmm who knows. Blah blah blah.
Im going to try get a movie to play.....
Its 2:20 am, Im still wide awake, its still snowing. I can't sleep. For some reason anything that is tech. doesn't want to work for me tonight. Facebook, Myspace, my DVD player is refusing to play any movie that I want to watch, My ipod is being stupid..I've read & re-read all the books in the house a million & three times each..... && Im worried about Thomas. O the joys of being a truckers wive.
So around 3:00 A.M. Im going to call him & then maybe just maybe I can go to sleep...Hmmm who knows. Blah blah blah.
Im going to try get a movie to play.....
I miss it.
I really hate that I can't straighten my hair anymore...
&& I think its time to let it grow back out. No more cutting it short
Or.
So I say
Anyway Its the same old same old. Thomas is out on the road, John was very well behaved today, so after we ate supper I let him play the xbox(360, as hes always pointing out to me. Like I don't know that theres a other xbox.)
Im thinking tonight, because of the gloomy, rainy/snowy weather, Im going to curl up with a mug of hot coco ((french Vanilla)) & watch a few chick ficks, or Jennifers Body.
picture of the massive snow flakes that fell for all of 15 minutes
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