Life.

Lifes been something else here lately. Yesturday (or today rather, since Its still the 20th as far as I know, because once again I can't sleep.) marks the two month mark since Daddy passed away. It doesn't seem that long some ways, & others it seems longer.

It doesn't seem far that we all had to pick up the pieces after his death... Its almost like he wasn't ever here, even though hes never far from any of our minds. I think about his daily, & there were times in the past week or so, when I've been running around doing things, that I stop & think omg I have to get home. Daddy needs me. I can't seem to stop that thought from running around in my mind.

John is the only one that is dealing with this the best out of all of us. He doesn't seem to be hurting anymore. He still wants to go out to see the stars everynight, to say goodnight, & once in a while he'll talk about him, but mostly he is going on with life.


I only wish that we could all feel that way....All understand it. I wish I could have that child like way of looking at things that have happend.


Thomas is still dealing with it. hes been moody, mean almost at times. & I know he doesn't mean it,. & since we've talked hes been trying to do better. Its just hard on him. Ive tried to understand.. I just want to be there for him, even when he is acting like a jerk.